Archive for July 16, 2009

Man Of Steel Stolen; Report At Eleven

While in the process of changing from his garb as “Clark Kent, a mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper” the Man of Steel was abducted from a red 1940s London-style phone booth.  Apparently, one of the Last Son of Krypton’s vile enemies discovered his alter ego and tracked him to the town of Steamboat Springs, Colorado.  I take you now to the report filed by The Steamboat Pilot and Today newsman Jack Weinstein:

— The Man of Steel is missing.

A mannequin dressed as Superman — complete with blue tights, the familiar “S” logo on the chest and red cape — was reported missing Monday. Superman dutifully greeted customers in front of the My Wireless location at 675 S. Lincoln Ave.

Superman was taken from a locked 1940s London-style red phone booth. It appeared someone had broken the lock with a rock, said Andy Brown, founder of the Steamboat Springs-based Verizon Wireless retailer.

Brown said the Superman mannequin and phone booth were placed outside the store shortly after the company opened its second Steamboat location there, about 1 1/2 years ago. He said it reflects the way My Wireless operates.

“We kind of have a light-hearted approach to everything,” he said. “We want everyone to smile.”

An employee noticed that the 6-foot-tall, 40-pound Super­­man had been taken and reported it missing. Steam­boat Springs Police Depart­ment Capt. Joel Rae said Tuesday that the incident is under investigation.

Aside from some scratched paint to the exterior of the phone booth and a broken light bulb inside, there was no other damage. There was also no damage reported to the store.

Because the store’s first location at 1755 Central Park Drive is open Sundays, the South Lincoln Avenue location is not. Brown said Superman could have been taken anytime after closing Saturday to when the store opened Monday morning.

Brown suspects the incident was just a prank and doesn’t want anyone to get in trouble. But for a prank to be a prank, he said, Superman would have to be returned.

“Hopefully someone will get their jollies in and bring it back,” he said.

My Wireless is offering a $100 store credit, free cell phone upgrade or accessories for the safe return of Superman, Brown said.

Which of Superman’s dastardly villains perpetrated such an act of villainy and who will follow the clues to his whereabouts.  Could it be the evil Metallo, the trickster Mr. Myxyzptlk, the sinister Darkseid, or perhaps the “greatest criminal mind of our age”: Lex Luthor.  Only time will tell.  Curse you evil doers!